if-youre-a-bird-im-a-bird

*drops food on floor*

germs: go get it! quick!

king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule

ok thats cool but in america you can get 100 mcnuggets for $25

dude: you smoke?
me:

so i was wondering why my parents are always so disappointed in me, and then i realized

here’s my sister:

here’s my other sister:

and here’s me

oh sweet jesus

oh sour jesus

oh BBQ jesus

oh cool ranch jesus

oh doritos locos tacos jesus

singing the wrong lyrics when singing along to ur favourite song

everyone’s middle name should be motherfuckin

suddenly overhearing people talking about a thing you like